Anxiety about spending money for my health


I’m doing well financially, but am still struggling to make a decision about whether to buy a Peloton for home use. The cost of the bike is $2,400 and the company provides monthly financing options for $62/month with no interest if you don’t want to or can’t pay for the entire amount upfront. I struggle with financing the bike so I don’t have to pay the full amount at once, which I could do if I cut into my emergency fund. I’m looking at this purchase through a lens that if I buy it outright, I’m hurting my emergency fund during COVID-19 when I might really need to dip into it. I have other savings. I’m missing out on my regular gym during this time since it’s closed due to the pandemic and I’m really beginning to get out of shape. Plus, I love working out and am missing doing something more vigorous. I’m not super motivated to work out on my own using minimal equipment – I like the idea of an instructor-led workout like the one Peloton provides. I’m also struggling with buying this piece of equipment because I feel like I could be using the money to make extra payments on my car, on which I still owe $12,000.

I’m really good at paying off debt and sacrificing on other things. Although I’m proud of being able to pay off debt, I feel like it’s come as such a personal cost, and I really want to make this decision in a way that honors me now. I can see the reason why I’m having so much trouble making this decision is because I believe money is scarce, takes sacrifice to manage properly and these thoughts make me not want to spend it because of how hard it was for me to save it. I think of all the things I had to pass up to save the money, and I am loathe to part with it, even if it’s for my own good. I keep trying to convince myself that I can just do YouTube workouts instead and pay off my car.

UM
C: Peloton bike is a workout option available to me
T: It took so long for me to save the money that I could use to pay for it
F: Dread
A: Delay on making a decision to buy or finance the bike, lament my inability to push myself hard enough to work out the way I’d like to, feel deprived, think about what I would do if a real emergency came up and I didn’t have the money I spent on the bike, think about how it’s more responsible to pay off my car, think that I don’t have a way to generate more money to pay off my car and buy the Peloton
R: I have a lot of unattractive options

C: Same
T: To have the life I want, I’m always going to have to be in debt
F: Resentment
A: Think about working out on my own with so-so results and less motivation, do nothing, don’t make an extra car payment, wonder if I’d finish paying the bike off, wonder if I’d get bored with the workout before I could finish paying off the bike, think it would end up being a waste of money
R: I hate debt

IM
C: Same
T: I could improve my health if I finance this purchase
F: Excited
A: Finance the purchase, enjoy the bike for however long I enjoy it, work out safely in the comfort of my home, work out daily
R: I have a good work out that I enjoy

The problem with my IM is that I still think I’d have the cost of the bike lurking in my mind and would force myself to overexercise to justify the expense and to make the purchase worth it because I’d be thinking “I’d better really use this bike because it cost me the opportunity to make extra payments on my car.”