I have recently started dating again, and you inspired me when you were coaching another client on one of the calls so I really go on dates with the mentality of ” I know I am a great time”, and I honestly believe this. I am very comfortable in my own skin, I feel good about where I am in life, the people in my life, the peace in my life and what I am doing in terms of evolving as an individual. I find that this mentality is genuine and I always have a great time on dates. I have recently met someone that I’ve gone out with several times and I’m starting to really like him and this is where the problem starts for me. I’m noticing all these thoughts surface now that I’m starting to develop feeling for him. If he doesn’t respond to my text right away, or his answers are not as engaging as they use to be, I start to get anxious and sometimes have the desire to reach out again to establish a connection or lengthen the conversation b/c I’m feeling insecure. The thoughts floating in my head are ” oh no, he has lost interest. He thinks I’m not interesting. I’m texting him too much, I should play hard to get” etc… I hate feeling this way and I know that it is irrational. I know that, Ya, he may thinks those things, but so what?! I want to have better control of my thoughts and hence feelings in these situations. Its a pattern, these are feelings I’ve had in the past and I want to be done with them. I know that I am completely fine if someone likes me and our relationship progresses or they don’t, but yet, that anxiety and self doubt always surfaces. I want to be more emotionally mature. It doesn’t feel good physically to be anxious over something I can’t control, but then I bump up against the question of ” well, maybe I should be feeling anxious, feeling anxious is fine”. I guess my question is am I letting my brain have these thoughts and it is creating an unnecessary feelings, or is this just part of the 50%?
Thank you in advance.