Anxiety in the Bedroom

This is awkward to ask — thank goodness for anonymity. 🙂

For several months, I’ve had a problem with anxiety in my intimate relationship with my husband. When I reach a certain point, my anxiety gets so high I can’t move forward. It is a physical reaction and I literally feel like I can’t stop it.

I have a history of childhood sexual abuse, and I’ve been working hard to leave the victim story behind. I’m at a place where I know it’s part of my story, but I have decided I’m a stronger person because of it and the lessons it taught me. In the past, I’ve felt a lot of shame about thoughts that I feel are inappropriate, but are sexually exciting. I was working on replacing those thoughts with different thoughts that feel better when this whole anxiety thing started showing up.

My question is how do I work on this? Is there thought work I need to do outside the bedroom? OR is there something I can do “in the moment” to avoid that anxiety. My husband is super sweet and patient with me, but I feel bad and know that worrying that I’ll have anxiety is just adding fuel to the fire.