Is anyone else afraid to write these things down?

HI! So, as soon as I heard I am writing negative things about people, my brain told me to stop everything and hide. Being that I am now a very curious and attentive observer of my thoughts (THANKS TO YOU!), I know this means several things:
– I will be going through with every page of writing because my fears are just thoughts that are not in control of me.
– Probably, with the immediate strong resistance I felt, this is a very old error loop that I would be smart to take a closer look at to understand it and build new thought models that better serve me.

Do I need to know WHY I am afraid or does that not really matter? The loop feels so very all important! I am sad about it and want to comfort myself by being present and understanding / vs old habits of buffering… I suspect it was being raised in a home with mom with way unhealthy boundaries and an absentee dad… perhaps none of that even matters because what matters is WHAT Action I choose to take today for my own results…

So – I am going to try thought models in here on this… my first time putting them out here. (PING of fear over putting relationship thoughts or negative things about others on paper – even on a secure website!) I would welcome your feedback.

C – Homework this month requires writing down negative things about people
T – OH, hell no! It’s not safe to put things on paper about other people!
F – Fear and deep resistance
A – Dig in and shut down (run for the hills) – avoid by overworking / spin in resisting overeating
R – No growth in this much needed area… and disappointment in not honor my commitment to being fearless in here with my own self-growth.

Ok – I am going to choose this intentional model:

C – Homework this month requires writing down negative things about people
T – I am committed to living fearlessly and know when I feel fear like this, it’s the right thing to do to HEAD INTO IT.
F – Brave and curious (I do not know what is on that other side AND THAT IS OK)
A – Deep breathing and acceptance AND WRITE
R – Honoring my commitment to myself and likely surprising insight and growth