These days, I’m uncovering the thoughts that lead me to telling myself “I hate my work.”

On one side of the equation are the negative thoughts that lead me to feel like a victim and then think I hate work.

On the other side of the equation are the thoughts that lead me to feel good. My question is – could these good thoughts be compensatory thoughts that cover up/jump the model so that I push down the “I hate work” thoughts? Are they covering up the thought work that I need to do?

C: lose a pound
T: I did it
F: powerful
A: log my weight, review my food list for today
R: I’m energized

C: have a craft activity planned for later today
T: I can hardly wait to dig into it
F: fired up
A: get my work done quickly, laugh and joke with family
R: productivity

When I look at Brooke’s Feelings List, I can see that I want work to “make me” feel strong. But often I feel weak.

C: a to do list that stays around the same length of items
T: this never ends
F: helpless
A: Counteract the feeling of helpless by giving myself a stern talking to, telling myself not to be lazy so to feel agitated and therefore be productive
or
Give into the feeling of helplessness and do nothing
R: I get a lot done but I’m agitated and feel like a bad girl
or
Do nothing and feel guilt and regret

Could you please share some insight into next steps for working on this? Thanks so much.