Arguing with reality vs. creating your own reality

Can you explain to me again how those two ideas fit together :
– Not arguing with reality because we lose 100% of the time,
– Choosing the thoughts we want to think about circumstances.

I agree with each one taken individually, but feel like there’s a slight contradiction I can’t quite put my finger on. The first supposes there is a single reality we should argue with, but the second suggests we can create our own reality through the filter of our thoughts.

Hoping to get clarity in my understanding — thank you!