Argument with daughter

My 11-year-old daughter and I seem to be constantly bickering.

I feel she doesn’t do basic required things in terms of personal hygiene, which puts me off.

She talks angrily to me quite a bit, which really gets me angry in turn.

Today, we were discussing who to invite to her birthday party, and instead of taking on board my suggestion, she started getting annoyed with me. She feels I don’t understand her. I feel annoyed and disappointed that she doesn’t listen to me, angry that every time I try to help it ends in a fight, and I fear that as a parent it is my role to advise her about friendships, etc or else she will get into trouble and suffer the consequences.

I need help to start changing my thoughts to more helpful ones, with the eventual result being that I am her most trusted person. Many thanks.