Argument with my husband

My husband and I had an argument yesterday. He said “mean” things to me, that I was “always nagging”. I felt sad, reflected on it and coached myself as I spent time in his model and could understand his point of view and feel compassion as well as sadness. Ultimately I think we disagree on how to deal with our teenage daughter and I know it is a thought that I can find evidence for which is not helpful.

Is a way out to decide how I want to feel ahead of time when he speaks to our daughter in a way I disagree with? Thank you in advance, amazing AAC team.