Ashamed About Money


Hi Coach,

My husband and I are in the process of buying a house near where my parents live. My mom is a real estate agent, my husband is in the finance industry, and my dad has had a lot of experience buying and selling houses. I own my own business and don’t make a lot of my own money yet.

We were visiting my parents this weekend and all talking about purchasing a specific house, finance options, what funds my husband and I have available and I quickly felt like I was out of the loop. I have always considered myself an independent person and I know I work hard and take my business seriously, but I don’t understand the more complex finances that my parents and husband were discussing. Since I’m not making a lot of money in my own business, the whole time this conversation was happening I had a lot of unhelpful thoughts like…

My parents think I’m just a housewife.
My parents think I don’t take my job seriously.
My husband is disappointed in me (because if I was making a salary, purchasing the house we want would be a lot easier).

I’ve tried to run models on these and I feel completely stuck. The feeling that keeps coming up from these thoughts is “ashamed” but I don’t know my action or result. I think I just sit there in silence feeling ashamed, but am not sure if that can be considered an action. And I don’t know how to even begin thinking more neutral thoughts. Can you help?