Ashamed of my husband.

Since a few weeks, I started to be ashamed of who my husband is and thinking I would like him to be different.
thoughts like : he’s not “man” enough, not funny enough, not good enough for me, maybe I would be better off with someone else…
It makes me want to run away from the relationship, flee away.
It all begun when I started to think he was relying on me too much, that he was depending on me, starting to have big emotional breakdowns because I was not showing him enough proofs of love.
the idea of co-dependency despises me, as I come from stories of physical and emotional abuse, and I observe that I feel very cold towards him as if I was dissociating from the situation, and I came to the point where I actually think I don’t love him and that I am incapable of loving anyone.
I really don’t know how to stay with that.
thank you for reading x