I think i have a lot of black and white thinking about asking for a raise and it’s not serving me. I want to be more curious than ‘prepared for battle’. I believe this is possible based on a conversation I had with my manager about a raise for one on of my employees. She brought up some points I hadn’t considered and I felt less angry after listening to what she had to say.

I’m looking for feedback on the following models:

C – salary exists
T – If I ask for more money, my manager will think I don’t understand how our business works.
F – scared
A – second guess what I want to ask for, don’t ask for it, think that the answer is black and white (either I’m right or my manager is right), give myself a reason not to ask for more money,
R – I don’t ask for more money b/c I believe I don’t understand how our business works

C – salary exists
T – It’s possible to have a conversation with manager about a salary increase where no one is right or wrong
F – curious
A – think about the points I want to make in the conversation, am not in an angry mindset, am open to – that if they won’t pay what I ask for it doesn’t mean that I’m wrong, I’m not valuable or worthy, I don’t have good points but rather that there may be things I don’t know to consider or reasons why they don’t want to pay me the amount I ask for, am more open to having a conversation with my manager
R- I prepare for a conversation with my manager from a cleaner place