At the whim of my circumstances

Hi! I need some help focusing and setting goals during what may be a career transition. I currently am a consultant but was verbally offered a position last month for a role I am extremely excited about that would start in April. My issue is that the company has yet to send me a formal written offer because they said that they were working through some HR transitions. They verbally provided me with comp and a general start date, but nothing in writing. I spoke with the CEO 10 days ago who said that I should receive an email with the formal offer, starting date, comp, benefits package, etc. by mid-last week. It hasn’t arrived yet and I haven’t heard back after sending quick follow-up email.

Based on your decision-making process, I imagined if both my current consulting business and the new role in the organization were equally amazing, which would I choose and I always choose the new role. However, my issue is I have been waiting for the offer for weeks now and since then, have been turning down projects and clients in my consulting business because I would not be able to complete them if I were to accept this new role. I feel like I am not able to set goals as I am constantly checking my email and waiting to hear back, like a girlfriend waiting for her significant other to call her… I started to think, ok, what if I act as if the role was definitely happening, what would I do… I came up with some awesome ideas of projects to start, but truthfully, if it ends up that something happened and I am not offered the position, it would be better use of my time to find consulting clients.

What should I do in this transition that can put me back in the drivers’ seat, instead of waiting for my circumstances to change? What thoughts can I think that can still propel me forward, not matter what happens in the C line?