Attached to the outcome (Jan 18)

I’ve noticed that sometimes when I listen to the life coach school material, I feel inspired and motivated. Other times, I have a feeling that can feel like urgency, or that I have to get somewhere or do something or make a big impact or make a lot of money. I do actually want to make a big impact and make a lot of money, but I feel like I’m going about this from a place of very strong desire. It doesn’t feel easy, it doesn’t feel flowy, it feels like force.

But when I listen to spiritual teaching that say MUCH the same thing as LCS, I don’t feel that way. Other teachings tell us that thoughts are creating our reality, and that our thoughts aren’t truth (like Byron Katie, for example), and this feels soooo calming. The concept of surrender and that there’s nowhere to go, just this present moment, and that I’m fully enough and nothing needs to change feels so calming. And, I KNOW that Brooke says this, too! That life is 50 50, and that either way you can be happy. But for some reason, something about LCS teaching makes me feel like I’ve got to ‘get’ somewhere, I’ve got to change something, make something happen, feeling my feelings feels more like a chore than a spiritual awakening.

I notice that this mostly comes up with respect to discussions of money and productivity. I love LCS and I love Brooke, but I’m struggling with this. I want to feel “at ease” doing things that might be hard. I want to feel aligned, even when I’m feeling all my feelings.

I’m not totally sure what my question is. I think, ultimately, I’m trying to use LCS teachings to “get what I want”. In Buddhism and other spiritual teachings, the idea is more of surrendering what the personal mind thinks it wants, and to be happy with what ‘is’. I feel like once I get into the mode of “okay I have to get what I want”, I start attaching my value to my ability to get the outcome I desire, and then the process feels really shitty and exhausting and definitely not fun.

I don’t really know how to desire something while not being attached to the outcome. For me, it feels like the two things are inextricably linked. How can I desire something without being attached to the outcome to determine my value??