Attachment to Onederland

I have lost about 40 pounds over the last year. My current weight is this closest I have been to under 200 pounds (Onederland) in 7 years. I have used thought work to change my feelings about my body. I love my body. However, I keep having the thought, “I should be in Onederland.” When I think this, I feel disappointed.

Intellectually, I know that 199 or less is a circumstance that cannot control my feelings. I practice the thought, “I am right where I am supposed to be right now, and I am figuring this out.” Then I think, “No, actually you could be at Onederland now. It is not that hard.”

What questions can I ask myself to be more accepting of the fact that I have made progress and release my attachment to a number? I really want to be under 200 pounds. Why? Because I set a goal, and I want to have integrity with myself. I do not want to minimize my accomplishments, but I am thinking about Onederland every. single. day. Because I want to be a woman who weighs less than 200 pounds. I am making it mean that I am a badass, even though I could believe that I am a badass today…because, I am. I am a badass who weighs over 200 pounds. That last thought felt better.