Attraction on A First Date


You say that married couples say, ‘I’m just not attracted to him/her’ as if it’s not within their control. You say they choose to think unattracted thoughts about the partner.

I had a blind date and the guy who showed up was handsome, polite and interesting to talk to. I went home peacefully, not thinking of him for another minute.
We met again, and the second date was again fairly flowing in conversation, but when the goodbye kiss came I felt nothing. I almost backed away.
He could be a nice partner but I feel zero physical attraction to him. I don’t know enough of him to ‘think my way into not being attracted’ to him.
In my mind, I am truly conveying body, chemical message over which I have no control yet since there is no history of relationship with him. He is tabula rasa for me.

My brain plays these two different sentences:
One – ‘Keep dating him. He seems stable and intelligent. You had enough sex in your life. Keep the good guy.’
Two – ‘He could be the nicest but if you already don’t feel like been kissed or touched by him, that can’t be good.’

I am only assuming that when you first met Chris, you were immediately attracted to him, or at the very least not unattracted to him. With two great personalities you also managed to keep the flame after a long marriage and two kids.

What is your take on been attracted or not to someone you just met?