Hi, thanks for your response to my post on attraction and having feelings for someone I work with. I’ve been going hard on models for the past few days and have posted some below as still feel like I’m not quite there yet. The thing that I’m preoccupied with is that I know I can’t control how he thinks or feels but does that mean I should try and curb my thoughts and hence my feelings about him so that I’m not bothered whether he is interested or not? I’ve tried to think of the worst possible outcome (he gets together with the girl at work I suspect he likes) and in a way, I think at least I would have a tangible circumstance instead of wondering what he feels which I am driving myself crazy with!

Some models I’ve been doing:

C – He is talking to the girl at work
T – He likes her
F – Rejected, jealous, resentful
A – Retreat
R – Feel bad about myself as not being myself and distant

Revised model:
C – He is talking to the girl at work
T – They’re friends (they are friends but I’m stuck in the thought that it’s something more so find it hard to accept this thought)
F – Accepting
A – Get on with my day
R –

C – Guy at work
T – I want to know if he likes me
F – Obsessed, overly analytical
A – Put him on pedestal and look for signs good and bad
R – Up and down mood – dependant on how I’ve interpreted his actions

C – Guy at work
T – He’s nice but I’m also pretty great
F – Content
A – Get on with day
R – Value myself

I struggle with the above as I want to feel ok if he’s not interested but I will be disappointed and annoyed with myself for imagining something that isn’t there!

And the last one which is where I think it stems from is feeling that there’s something wrong with me and I’m not going to meet anyone.

C – Single
T – I’m never going to meet anyone
F – Sad, rejected
A – Beat myself up
R – Don’t see good qualities and feel bad

C – Single
T – (any help with this would be appreciated as I struggle to think of something I believe)
F – Happy
A – Enjoy my own company
R –

Sorry, I know I sound crazy and I feel a little crazy at the moment as feel stuck in my own head! Thanks so much for your help.