Just finished today’s purpose work. I overslept, and missed my exercise class, which was a great opportunity for my brain to beat me up and my insides to twist with despair about how I’m never going to get anything done in my whole life and I should just give up and get a desk job. So, a few models on that:
C: Slept past my alarm
T: I suck, I’m a total failure, nothing will go right
F: Despair, shame
A: Give up, hide. More specifically, go through my day barely showing up for the things I have to do, and during my free time, play with my dog, scroll through Twitter, maybe even eat, instead of doing the work of starting my business.
R: Nothing gets done and I still don’t have a business of my own
C: Slept past my alarm and missed class
T: Well, that’s disappointing, and a good opportunity to reflect on what happened there
F: Disappointed that I missed the class
A: Do this thought work, and go to a later class if I can
R: Learn something and move on
So, what did actually happen? I was woken by my alarm at 6, decided to hit snooze, and somehow the alarm sound wiggled into my dream instead of waking me up. By the time I did wake up, I had the option of rushing to get to class and possibly making it in time, or not. I chose not to. I chose instead to meditate and walk the dog.
C: I stayed home
T: I always choose the easy thing. That’s why I’m never going to get anywhere.
A: Freeze — inaction.
R: Nothing gets done.
C: I stayed home
T: This morning, I chose the easy thing by staying in bed. I can make different decisions as the day moves on. And no matter what decisions I make, I am always, always, always, lovable and worthy.
F: Curious, and a little anxious
A: Examine my urges to stray from commitments
R: Learn happens when I stick to my committed actions even when they’re hard, OR learn what makes me avoid the committed actions so ferociously.