Avoiding planning for the future

Hi Brooke
I am having trouble with my chosen commitment for 2017 and feel I need some help. My commitment is to have a financial/retirement goal realized this year. I am in my 50’s and my husband and I have felt that we would like to retire in a few years (2-3). I make a good living and I think we will have what we need. My issue is that I have always had an avoidance toward financial and retirement planning. I avoid discussions about retirement and do not actively set financial goals for retirement (this creates marital stress). What I am uncovering (with workbook and models) is that the idea of changing my current life and retiring creates stress and fear. I fear a lack of purpose after retirement and I fear that I will uncover an absence of ideas about my future self. My career has been pretty consuming (medicine) and I think that I have allowed that to define me primarily. I have also never been much of a deliberate planner for the future. So I am having trouble making this commitment exciting and compelling.

As I see it, my questions would revolve around:
Do I just sit with that fear and try to have confidence in my future self
Do I try to explore options now about future self – although my current time is limited
Do I just move ahead with the immediate plan of financial planning and not think much beyond that

I think it boils down to not trusting myself as this has been a long pattern of avoidance.

I would appreciate any advice.

And I am really glad to be participating in your Scholar program this year. Thank you for creating it.