My husband and I met with our accountant this week to our business and personal tax returns (end of June here).
This always stirs up lots of thoughts and feelings for me as I feel like he is always judging us.
I am treating this as an opportunity to uncover my own subconscious thoughts as he has never actively done anything for me to feel this way – it is totally my interpretation and insecurities.
I have done a couple of models on this from the feeling of ‘embarrassment’ which was the strongest point to start from for me which produced the need to play down our achievements so far and our goals.

C – $124k for financial year. 25% increase in revenue on last year. Accountant says ‘this past year would’ve been good for you guys, right?’ {because our biz is in online education}
T – I think: ‘He thinks our revenue should be higher/This revenue is not as good as it should be’. {He didn’t say anything like this. I decided that was what he was thinking}
F – shame/inadequate/deflated {even though I was happy with this number before the meeting}
A – Want to reduce our 200k goal, downplay our goals, doubt ability to reach goal.
R – Decrease likelihood of achieving 200k.

C – Account says we will need to look at changing insurances when we get to a joint income of 180k. I say: That will mean we’re bringing in 200k revenue in business. Husband says ‘Yep.’
T: Accountant doesn’t actually think we’ll do it.
F: Embarrassed/ silly
A: I say ‘hmmm, that will be going some. We probably don’t need to worry about that yet’. i.e. Downplay our goal even though we have set it and totally believe we can achieve it. Don’t share goal or belief proudly/confidently with others.
R: (Guessing some form of the same as above).

I realise from these that I have not stepped into ‘being’ the person who makes 200k yet. That is why I feel ‘silly’ saying it.
I’m guessing that my work is to ‘be’ that person ahead of time? Or is there something else that would come before that?