I’m 39. I’ll be a first time mom at 40. We’re having twins which feels like an unbelievable blessing. AND they’re 100% healthy it seems. I am halfway through the pregnancy. I can’t believe how blessed this is cause I have had a miscarriage and many tears trying to conceive for over a year. I’m disappointed though because today I found out they are both boys. I have always dreamed of a daughter. I’m not sure how to coach myself.
My thought is 1. I’m too old to try for more kids cause of risks the baby could have problems. And 2. I may not get pregnant again. And 3. Even if I got pregnant again it could be another boy 4. Another pregnancy will be stressful. These are all thoughts I don’t think are serving me. I think these thoughts are making the news of twin boys more disappointing to me.
So how do I allow the disappointment and process the loss of a hope for a girl this pregnancy? Is that even healthy? Can I allow disappointment with generating those negative thoughts? Or should I coach myself to stop feeling disappointment?