Back to you coaches with the same situation. Judging my thoughts.


A few weeks ago I’ve written to you coaches about the same topic.

The circumstance is: Business with 150 employees in a difficult situation; 1/3 to be fired next week and then see if we can continue with smaller business; connected shop open since March and turnover less than expected; our house not sold yet and if not at the end of September we’ll have financial issues. And some related ‘issues’.

The feedback I got on my models were (my words): You’re very dramatic about the situation, and the circumstance is always neutral. And the question what I would like to think.

I know this, the C is neutral. I also know that the liquidation of the business, that’s a reality, more chance than continuing. (I write this after consulting our accountants). Liquidation in Europe means the loss/dept will stay with you in the future. We’re used to have ups and downs, we’re not afraid to take risks (millions involved). At this moment it seems that we’ve got challenges (I know, my thought) in many aspects of our life. I’ve thoughts like: “It’s too much”.

Understanding it’s my thoughts, my dramatic thoughts, that make this situation hard for me, I feel guilty (and shame) that I’m still (4th month in SCS) not able to think in another way about my situation.  So it’s my guilt about my failure to have ‘better’ thoughts than the ones I have that make me feel like I do (overwhelmed, stressed).  I feel, physically tired, light in my head, lower back pain, pressure on my heart, nightmares. I’m aware this is caused by my thinking. And gotten worse by my judging of my ‘dramatic’ thoughts.

Unintentional:
C.Thoughts
T. I should be able to have less dramatic thoughts about my situation
F. Failure
A. Thinking in circles, not creative in solutions, not being focused,
R. …What is here the result? Continue having dramatic thoughts?

Intentional
C. Same
T. It’s okay to have dramatic thoughts with so many issues going on
F. Compassion
A. Sit with compassion for myself, relief the stress/physical tension,
R. Acceptance that I’m human

I think I first ‘have’ to deal with my thinking on my thinking before I can change the thoughts about my situation, and so feel different and act differently.

Any feedback is much appreciated. Thank you coaches!