balancing self-care with parenting

Hi Brooke,
I am focusing my SCS work on weight loss, but I’m finding a lot of my emotional energy and thoughts are going into my role as a parent and I need some clarity on how to balance that while really prioritizing my own self-care. My kids are 10 and 12, so independent but not yet all the way self-managing. My daughter (12) in particular has some emotional challenges of her own – she is highly anxious and extremely quiet and lonely. I often find myself thinking that I am the only person who “gets” her and therefore have to be her advocate in all areas, and her pain deeply hurts my heart and triggers my own issues. This of course ramps up with the start of the school year, as every year I have to make sure that her teachers are aware of some things that she is unable to advocate for herself, and she has to adjust to new circumstances, and I can do little but drop her off at school and hope for the best each day. I feel like I hold my breath until she comes home and lets me know that the day was okay. I love having tools like the model to help her understand and work through her own anxious feelings, but it is constant work to coach her through situations so that she is able to manage them on her own as she gets older. My son is more “typical”, I guess, and I don’t experience the same level of worry with him…so I know it’s possible.

I guess my question is this: How do I manage my feelings and exhaustion from helping her manage her feelings while I’m trying to focus on my own self-care? I understand that I can’t control her behavior, but she requires some exptra support at this stage in her life and I want to give it to her without it taking over my thoughts and feelings. Thanks for the advice! 🙂