Be curious


So I just finished a 20 min. coaching session and this is where my coach and I left off:
My model
C: Husband says words
T: he is saying this to provoke me
F: hurt
A: question our compatibility, stew about it, be distant, continue to avoid triggering topics
R: relationship is not close

Back story: on certain topics (politics, current events, COVID) my husband and I trigger each other. Several years ago I began to suspect that he was going 180 degrees opposite of me just for spite or to “counter balance” my opinions. During one argument he said “Yeah I don’t want to be pigeonholed by your opinions, you think everyone agrees with you so I will show you I don’t” which is why when he “says words” I think he is just doing it to pick a fight or be contrary or what ever. I do also know he was raised differently and that while he probably legitimately DOES think differently than me sometimes I go back to “he’s doing it to provoke me”.
Where I left off with my coach was that she asked me to be curious about his statement. I’m not sure what to do with that? What questions can I ask to jumpstart this curiosity? I keep coming back to:
I KNOW why he is saying what he says (consumes garbage news, needs to push back at my strong opinions, was raised to believe certain things etc.) The curiosity is supposed to help me set the all knowing drama brain aside and look at things more objectively, but I think the thoughts above and it doesn’t help me not feel hurt and misunderstood- don’t change the result I’m getting.
Am I doing the curiosity thing wrong? How can I get curious in this circumstance?