Beautifying Myself During Grief


My mother passed away two weeks ago and ever since I noticed that I have been indulging in certain behaviors that ultimately will cause me bad consequences:

I overeat flour and sugar.
I don’t work on my business.
I don’t take phone calls or invitations from friends.
I put on clothes that normally I wouldn’t be seen with outside the house.
I don’t floss at the evening.

These actions are already causing me to gain weight and feel even more depressed and out of life.
But I noticed that my brain thinks these are appropriate actions due to the circumstances and here are some thoughts that sneak in:

It’s normal for a daughter who lost her mom to comfort herself in food.
My soul is hurt and I need to only do what makes me feel good now.
This is a great opportunity to be able to say no to many friends or other obligations with my husband and no one will judge me for that.
It’s not normal to be on top of my food plan, lose weight and look gorgeous after my mom passed away.
Grieving people should look like they are in mourning and not look good.

Now, all these sentences, I notice now, are not the facts of life, but are beliefs I took from my extended family and culture.
I don’t think my mom would have wanted me to neglect my appearance and health in order to honor her death.
But when I wake up and think of styling my hair or put on makeup, I notice a thought that says it’s inappropriate to beautify myself so soon and that I should keep a low profile.

I wonder if you would be able to help me in moving through bridge thoughts and question these beliefs.

Thank you.