Being a mom is so hard

I often don’t believe my son is telling me the truth. I don’t have evidence he’s lying but my instinct and logic says he is. Of course when I question him he denies everything I suggest may be going on.

When he tells me he’s doing something, I immediately think he’s up to something he shouldn’t and my mind figures out all the potential pit falls and inconsistencies in what he’s saying. I would like to go through them all with him to see what he would say, but it’s pointless. Pointless because he is brilliant at deflecting and rationalizing everything, and he goes crazy and aggressively defends himself.

So I’m left with all my unfounded (but very real feeling) stories, not trusting my son and being disconnected from him. And I still don’t know the truth.

I know there’s a different way, but I’m struggling to see or believe it as this way feels so horrible, but natural.