Being a Mum

I remember growing up, my mum often mentioned “kids are the report cards of the parents”. Now I am a mum to 2 kids, a 6-year-old daughter and 2.5-year-old son. I’ll just focus on my daughter here.

C- My mum used to say “kids are the report cards of the parents”
T- I have to be an A+ mother
F- anxiety
A- I am sending my 6 yr old daughter for piano, and swimming, and dancing. I am thinking of sending her to gym and Mandarin class. I am scolding her to “shape” her. I am trying to be very tight in terms of time – with timer for TV and playground. I am controlling my daughter. I am trying to control who she is friends with. I am trying to control what she is eating. She needs to eat good food.
R- I am always trying to control myself to do more / be a better mother while feeling that I always fall short of my standard

C- My mum used to say “kids are the report cards of the parents”
T- I can never be a good Mum
F- hopeless
A- I don’t spend time doing homework with her. I am finding it a chore to do the daily reading homework with her. I find it annoying to involve her in the kitchen making/baking so I try to do baking myself – cleaner, quicker. She actually really enjoys doing baking/learning in the kitchen. I don’t sit down with her to do the piano lesson. I get impatient when she is making mistakes in her writing and piano practice.
R- I am not showing up as a good Mum

I know the definition of a “good” Mum is very murky. and I think after a lot of pondering mine is “a mum who is there for her kids”. I want a warm relationship with my kids.

C- My mum used to say “kids are the report cards of the parents”
T- I am just going to be kind and loving to my kids and let go of my controlling “have to be A+” mother and kid
F- trusting
A- I am spending time with her, encouraging her with homework rather than being impatient with her, I am involving her in the kitchen. I am firm but kind with time and limits.
R- I have warm relationship with my daughter