I know many people seem to be struggling during shelter in place/COVID with feeling isolated and lonely. My struggle is the opposite.
I’m used to working at home alone during the week. My husband is now home working, so I’m around another human almost 24/7.
I’m an introvert and love having alone time. I’m feeling drained, deflated, and somewhat depressed because I want to be alone and can’t. I can be in another room by myself, but our apartment is small and the walls are paper thin. It’s not the same as being completely alone. He’s on the phone almost the entire day for work, and if it’s not for work, it’s personal phone calls. It’s just been a huge shift. It’s rarely quiet during the week like I prefer when I’m working, and I don’t get regular alone time to recharge. I feel depleted.
I’m arguing with reality in my head. I just want the C to change and for COVID to be over, but I obviously can’t change it. This leads me to not follow my calendar and work on my business. I’m just doing the bare minimum with everything I normally do. Then I’m beating myself up for continuing to avoid doing what I should be doing even though I can clearly recognize I’m blaming the C for how I feel and putting myself in a victim place of not being able to do anything about my T, F, A, and R. I recognize I’m creating a situation that I can’t really get out of.
I know this is life, and that it’s not like life is currently on pause and will resume when this is over. This is real life. Life is 50/50. But I guess I’m struggling with the 50% that sucks. I’m just tired of feeling awful. I don’t know what I should work on first in order to move forward. All I know is that I’m tired of feeling awful and I’m tired of compounding it by beating myself up. Thank you for any insight.