I recently separated from my husband and moved to a new place with my daughter. I fell in love with someone else after I separated. I wasn’t planning to be in another relationship but this guy was there for me for months almost begging me to be with him and making promises.
So, I went for it and when I did he started to change. He ghosted me for a few days and said we weren’t on the same page, which was a shocking experience for me because it was my first time fully choosing consciously that I wanted to be with someone and he had painted such a beautiful picture of us that I totally believed. Looks like maybe he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship.
So, it’s crazy hard for me to deal with both heart breaks and grieving. The problem for me now is that I’m so stuck in my head for how things have gone that I can’t be fully present anywhere. I’m not present at work and I’m not present with my daughter. My mind is either in disbelief, shock, anger, or sadness about how things have gone for me.
I do see the gift in all of this. I can see how it’s helping me to learn to be with myself. To value myself more and many other things. I sometimes focus on that and start feeling empowered and taking action and being more authentic but I still can’t be fully present and that fucks with my head because I want to be fully present. I want to be fully in with my daughter or at work. I want to be my best version as much as I can.
I’m at peace with my decision to leave my husband. Yes, I miss him but that does not equal wanting to go back with him. I accepted what happened with this other guy but it’s not completely closed for me. After he told me we weren’t on the same page he has been engaging lightly with me on social media which totally destabilizes me. How can I get over this? How can I be with all this sadness, grief, and anger and still transform, grow and be fully present?