Being manipulative

Can you help me with my models?

C : I am in a party with men
T : maybe he is better Than my boyfriend
E : seductive
A : I listen and try to listen and show interest and I lie about my current relationship
R : I feel guilty and feel like shit

C : I say my relationship is going bad
T : I lie to have a possibility, I am disrespectful to my boyfriend
E : Shame
A : I feel bad, I can’t listen, I can’t concentrate, I act weird because I feel so bad
R : I feel like shit

C : I am with men in a party
T : I want other possibilities than my actual relationship and maybe there is some possibilities
F : wanting
A: I am flirting I lie about my relationship I try to seduce
R: I feel ashamed and so bad. And I am thinking :if my boyfriend Knew he would despise me so much like I do


I want to have a model where my results would be :
R : «  I feel attractive and seductive but I am not cheating and I am not betraying my boyfriend »

Thanks for feedback