I have been failing at processing urges for the past two weeks.
My pattern? – Every morning before I need to sit and work on my business and create content, I feel restless and anxious and rush to the nearest cafe to soothe myself with bread and pastries.
When an hour later I am fatigued from the sugar high and low, I return to my house, yawn with a foggy brain that is unable to concentrate on anything, I use the rest of the day in consumption mode of watching more urge calls and making more notes on how to process urges, only to do it all over again the next day.
So this morning I decided to wear a scientist hat and study myself.
There was nothing really physically unpleasant that I felt.
I was looking to see what unpleasant vibration Brooke is talking about and there was none.
What I had is a simple and what seems a reasonable thought that says basically: ‘It’s Wednesday, who starts on Wednesday? Let’s sail through until Monday and start on Monday in a fresh week. Or better yet, June 1st seems more reasonable to start.”
So for a moment I had a BRAIN discomfort because my prefrontal cortex said, “But wait a minute, you said you will start your protocol today.”
And my brain answered, “Yeah, and I will, but few more days won’t change much.”
And so I was convinced and went to the cafe again and ate bread and sugar.
So what I want to say is that maybe I didn’t wait enough to feel any physical sensation or maybe it wasn’t coming at all, but the discomfort I felt was from two sides arguing while one seemed more convincing and I followed its lead.
Meaning, it’s the conversation between the two brains that is uncomfortable, not the desire itself.
If anything, the moment I agree to go along with my lower brain suggestion, there’s a huge spike in energy that makes me almost jog to the cafe, a good feeling, before I even saw the bread or pastry. A pleasant anticipation feel overall.
So what am I missing here?