Belief – Not serving me

So alot of the time I have dropped my manual with my husband, and can just love him. However, when I am not soo centered and we do get into a fight, there is this cycle that comes up for me. I know it isn’t true, or what I believe, but it is a deep belief that I have modeled much in the past. Soo…the cycle brings up that I married the wrong man, and that I have wasted my “life” and all this time on this relationship. In the moment, when there is hurt, rage, disappointment, the HOT MESS, how do you stop yourself from going on that cycle? Afterwards, I write, and think APOLOGIZE, all of it. But how to STOP before that belief takes hold? Thank you in advance.