Belief: You Teach Other People How To Treat You – Is This True?

I’m working through podcast #193 and had my free tutoring session this morning – which was awesome. I am working through a lot of thoughts I had about a comment a friend made to me. So the circumstance is my friend said “…” to me. One of my thoughts that was making me feel particularly weak was – “you teach other people how to treat you”. I now wonder if this belief that I have heard many times throughout my life is accurate because it puts the responsibility on me for the words or actions of someone else. This belief always made me think that when someone said or did something to me that I thought was unkind, that it was because I needed to do something so that they wouldn’t say or do that again. That falls right into having manuals for people and the false assumption that you can control another person. The old belief “you teach other people how to treat you” contradicts my new belief from scholars that “people get to behave however they want and so do I”. Am I missing something or is the belief “you teach other people how to treat you” a thought/belief that doesn’t serve me?