best friend drama

Hi coaches
I have had a best friend for over 12 years now. We are basically like sisters. For 12 years, we have always spoken at least once a day and sometimes when things get crazy at least every 2-3 days over a phone call.

She recently started dating a new guy and moved to live with him overseas. Although we do still keep in touch, things are not the same. I’m okay with us not having long phonecalls all the time like we used to, but we will often go weeks without her contacting me. I feel like I’m always the one making the effort so now I have stopped.

Although we do speak here and there, we are no where as close as we were, and our friendship is very distant compare to what it was. I know that she’s been giving all her attention to her new boyfriend, but I can’t help but feel sad. I have spoken to her about it before, and she simply just says she’s so sorry and things have gotten away from her and she will try. But she gets caught up in her own spiral and then gets all MIA. Her new boyfriend is also extremely controlling and is always around whenever I’m on the phone with her. I was also very hurt and upset when I thought I was speaking to her about something privately on the phone, which was a sensitive issue, and she had me on loudspeaker with him listening in the background. I only found out because then he chimed in with his opinion on what I was saying and I felt so betrayed by her that she never asked if it was okay that he know.

A part of me is sad, but another part of me feels that I have actually outgrown her. I’m not missing her company as much as I had thought… and I just feel that we are different people with different priorities. She is back in the country to visit and she wants to make plans. I saw her once and really struggled. She is not the same person and I’m struggling to relate to her like I used to.