I was doing my podcast homework and realized something…

I blame my mom and childhood for being overweight. Totally lame and i see my bs.

What suprised me was i also assign any successes i have to other people too. It’s like i have to be beholden to my mom and my childhood for any success i have had. The thought “if it wasnt for your mom, you wouldn’t be where you are now.” The “now” is both negative and positive results. Both things feel like shit.

I neither want to blame or be beholden. I want to own all of my ish, good and bad.

Can feeling beholden be as bad as blaming?