Blaming a contractor for my feelings

I’m really struggling with how I’m feeling about one of my contractors. He’s working on a big project and I’ve decided he’s not properly doing his job. And I’m making that mean that this is a terrible mess and I made a mistake in hiring him and I am stuck with him. I realize that these are choices. I’ve had a few meetings with him and I always feel better afterward because we seem to make progress and clarify expectations.

But then a day or 2 later, I’m back in this awful place again.

C Employee hasn’t finished the project
T I can’t get myself out of this mess
F Anxiety
A Stress out, run models, check our numbers again, have discussions with him, feel better, freak out again
R I’m in a mess

C Employee
T I’m the boss here
F Determined
A Evaluate, give feedback, hold accountable to deadlines and results
R I’m the boss

But I’m still feeling anxiety and dread. The intentional model works for me but only for a short time and then I’m back into anxiety.


Thank you