Blaming husband’s thoughts for financial stress


I think I wouldn’t be as worried about money if my husband wasn’t worried about money. I know we have a reserve to pull from, it’s just getting to the point where he’s decided the reserve is too low and we have to cut back. I have taken some risks and made some investments that haven’t paid off yet and if he wasn’t around judging, I think it wouldn’t even occur to me to not take even more. I think I’ve invested in education and information and as I’ve gone to implement it, it hasn’t turned out like expected and yielded immediate results. There’s no convincing the husband that it will, since “it hasn’t yet”.

What I’m struggling with is this fear of not making him happy and creating more marital strife if I cut back on certain spending. However since it’s not my idea to cut back, I’ll likely feel resentful if I do. I feel resentful just thinking about it, likely because the reason is to placate my husband. Possibly if I felt less resentful, I might do the math and make specific adjustments because they made sense to me, but my husband’s “We’re going to run out! Stop spending everything now” mentality is actually triggering thoughts that almost make me want to double down on my position. Probably none of these thoughts are helpful.  I feel I need a more neutral perspective to help me.