“Without my body or athletic ability, I am nothing”
This came out in my writing today and it feels insanely true. Since I was a teen, I have relied heavily on these two things being important for me as a person. Too important to the point where that belief is also insanely suffocating. This is to the point where I am obsessed with people in a weird way who have the perfect body I envision is perfect that I know I will never get. I want to be around them, friends with them, close to them. I am learning this might be a way to avoid the anxieties in my life that I know matter more in the long run.
Like making the decision to have kids and be on that edge of choice or finding more intimacy and acceptance with myself.
My brain wants to go hard in being obsessed about bodies.
I do not want to obsess about this, think about it the way I do, and continue this way. I want to be done with those thoughts and allow my body to be actually beautiful and okay. Thank you for any help you have to give!