Body Hatred Fatigue

I’ve spent 30 years hating my body and believing if I can get to my ever changing goal weight life will be perfect. After finding Brooke’s podcast and joining Scholars, I know this is not true, but I am struggling (I know that’s a thought!) to change my thoughts and have 2 models that I’m uncertain if I’ve got the R correct and would appreciate your insights.

C: My body
T: I’m tired of continuing to hate my body when I know it’s optional
F: Defeated
A: Self judgement for not changing thoughts and loving body
R: I continue to hate my body

For this model I’m frustrated that I’ve been following my protocol for almost 2 weeks and my weight has not changed AT ALL. I’ve gained 2 lbs since January and in mid-February I went on vacation and went off protocol then struggled to get back on. Two weeks ago, I started my protocols again, but my weight hasn’t changed.

C: Weight has increased 2 lbs since Jan 2
T: I’m doing something wrong
F: Frustrated
A: Tweaking protocol, reading book The Obesity Code (trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong), drinking more water (instead of Diet Coke), tracking/evaluating weight
R: I’m not doing anything wrong