So I asked a question yesterday:
“Today he told me he’s been contacting prospects on LinkedIn to set up calls and got a few interested. The Circumstance FACT: He is doing prospecting, something that is a part of my job description and not his. He is the President and I am the salesperson so this definitely feels threatening, EXTRA because I am moonlighting a bit while trying to get my coaching business up and running. Moonlighting meaning my heart isn’t in this job BUT there is so much guilt around the moonlighting because this job pays me very well so when he does shit like this, I feel super uncomfortable and guilty. I’ve modeled this out in the past and acknowledge that I am now moonlighting because of past experiences with him where he’s cut my commission when I am closing more business (basically keeps renegotiating my commission as I make him more money so I make less), and this is why I chose to start my own business. But the guilt still remains. When shit like this happens, I feel threatened, I feel like I am a bad salesperson, I am moonlighting because he underappreciates me, and I want to be my own boss. So my focus is not 100% on the day job.
I need help with the guilt and the threatening feelings specifically.”
The answer I got was that the above is a story/drama explaining my models as being a result of his actions, instead of neutral circumstances.
But I am confused with the response, I did put FACT /Circumstance as such:
C – Boss was Prospecting
T – I am a bad salesperson because he’s doing my job
F – Threatened and guilty
A – Start scrambling, start questioning the decision to start a side hustle
R – ??
C – Boss advised my compensation will be cut
T – I am being punished as a salesperson for making him and the company more money
F – disrespected and underappreciated
A – I make the decision that I want to start my own business
R – I am working towards being independent while still working this job
I guess I am struggling with the comment that the coach made that stated “notice the drama as if his behaviors were responsible for your choices instead of neutral circumstances” but the fact of the matter is, I would never have pursued a 2nd career as a coach had he not made the decision to cut my pay. I need more clarification on this. I feel like I was not creating drama with what I shared above but being very clear that certain actions taken, motivated certain actions from me to be taken.