bothered by mistake

I’m thinking over something I didn’t do in the past and feeling bothered about it.

I’m splitting from my husband. We used to live in a house I bought, then we bought a new house together and I sold my house. The proceeds were significant and we agreed to put the money into our new house. That never happened.

In the financial analysis, if you spend $ on food, clothing, shelter, it’s considered a gift to the community, but if you invest in something you can keep it. The $ we were going to put into the house, $100K is now gone, spent, and considered a gift to the community. If we/I had put it into our mortgage on our current house, I would have owned more of the house when I had to buy him out and the mortgage would have been lower.

Now, I had to pay a lot to buy him out and I have a huge mortgage. I keep thinking/wishing I could go back and put that $100K into the house so I would be in a better position now. It’s almost as if my brain thinks if I think about it enough I can get back there in time and put it in. It was totally available and could have easily been put in. And then my husband wouldn’t have had the idea we have all this money sitting around that we can waste on a litigious divorce, maybe he wouldn’t be wasting $ the way he is, I would have a lower mortgage, I wouldn’t have had to pay him for the house because I would have had more equity than him, etc. Ugh!

I don’t know how to stop thinking about this mistake that I made!