My husband is an alcoholic, and I have learned from you that I cannot control his behavior, but I can control my own thoughts, feelings and actions. This has made all the difference. My question is regarding boundaries. Perhaps it is because of my control issues, but I found myself trying to manipulate him with the use of “boundaries”. For example, I told him that if he brought alcohol into the house, I would ask him to leave. I realized this was not really a boundary; it was another attempt to control his behavior. Once he brought alcohol back into the house, I was conflicted about the ultimatum I had made, so I did nothing. So, not only am I controlling, but I’m bad at it! Ha! Currently, I am working on acceptance and on my own issues, and I feel infinitely better regardless of what he does. I still find myself wondering what the heck a boundary is and how it would be useful. Can you give me an example of a healthy boundary for this situation?