Boundaries and hope

Hi Brooke,
I am in the “I don’t know how “- fear stage regarding my mother.
I haven’t seen her in over a year and a half. I “talked” with her around new year and send her emails once in a while to share some experiences.
She lives in France and we live in California.
She moved last year but doesn’t want to give me her new address.
I’ve been trying to keep the link with her through painful relationship : she’s my mother, I want to love her.
It seems that I failed a lot there…
I find hope in the way you teach boundaries but I have no idea how to apply them here.
We travel to France this summer, I will spend time helping my dad (they divorced over 30 years ago) but I would like to see her with my kids.
Fear is : many tensions and drama in the past 10 years each time we met.
I improved my communication skills on the way!
Where can I put my thoughts?