Boundaries in India


Hello! My husband is Indian and I am American and we were having a discussion about how to set boundaries in Indian culture. Indian culture is collective, so individuals needs/wants/etc. aren’t really seen as important because the emphasis is placed on the group. So my husband said that he wouldn’t set boundaries in Indian culture unless it is about your home or someone doing something to your body. For example, Indians talk about everyone all the time. So while I was there they told me I should take out my hair extensions and told me I should eat more/talked about my physical appearance in a way I perceived as inappropriate and rude. Now I think that in the future if they talk about those things I will just get up and leave the room as my boundary. My husband said that would be seen as highly offensive and would affect my relationship with his family and himself as the go between. He suggested I should just work on changing my thought and not make it mean what I am currently making it mean which is disrespect/rudeness. He thinks I should just think “Indians talk about peoples bodies and that is ok” and if they ask me to eat more or change my hair etc. I just say no a million times. I thought I should do the thought work but also set a boundary. He said if I did the thought work I wouldn’t need to set a boundary and boundaries only need to be set if you aren’t changing your thoughts on certain situations. What do you think?