Boundaries to honor ME

I understand a boundary with an angry/shouting husband, but my husband is the opposite. We have been married for decades and he is more withdrawn as the years go by. How do you set boundaries with a passive / non-communicative husband? My pursuing has not worked. Yes, I can see I had hoped to ‘change him’… I tried to make him feel safe and comfortable to share with me. To him, it probably felt scary. Now, I am finally realizing I guess it is just his way. We have children and I see the same pattern in his relations with them. It feels like I am married to my neighbor – I see him come and go but have no idea how his days go or what he is feeling. For me, communication means a lot so I can feel close to someone. I guess this is just a long held thought of mine that I can change if I choose? My thoughts are definitely way too focused on him. How do I set boundaries to honor myself?