Boundary at Home-Does my Husband Need Agree?


My in-laws book plane tickets to come visit us without talking to us about good dates to come, fly out, and then text us from the airport to come pick them up without sharing flight details (day, time, number etc.). I love them and am glad they want to spend time with our family, I do want to set a boundary out of love asking my in-laws to please call and check on dates before booking a ticket so my husband and I can tell them if it is a good time to visit. If they don’t, we may not be in town, may not be available to give them a ride from the airport, or they may not be able to stay in our home upon their arrival. I have no problem talking to them about this or enforcing it in a kind way.

In the past, my in laws have booked tickets and arrived in town when we had other house guests and asked us to get a mattress so they could sleep in our office. They booked tickets and we were to be out of town, so they asked us to cancel our trip. There are many other examples of why this boundary would be effective and it seems quite reasonable.

However, my husband sees this as more of a “Manual” for how my in-laws should behave because his parents “just act this way all the time and always have.” He does not see it coming form a place of love.

Can one person in a married household set and enforce this boundary?
Is this more of a manual for my in-laws?