I am working on the boundaries worksheet and wanted to check regarding self-action. It involves my when my best friend comes over with her daughter (11yo same as my eldest daughter) who is quite a picky eater and always has been.

Frequently when we are serving a meal or a snack my friend will ask for something else – like do you have any other leftovers of x, y,z. This leaves me feeling frustrated or resentful as I try to find another meal for her daughter when I would not be doing that for my kids.

So for my boundary I wrote:

Request: Please do not ask me to offer/prepare/look for an alternative meal/snack for your daughter when she does not want what we are serving.

Self-action:
If you do, I will say no.

Is that sufficient? Does that count? Or does it have to be bigger, like: if you do we will no longer have you over for meals.

For the latter that seems too harsh cause they are our closest friends and we enjoy having them over .

Thanks!