My boyfriend doesn’t really wants kids. I do, and I am 37.

But a part of him wants it, so he told me, I don’t want you to be sad, I am afraid to have one and to loose my freedom but a part of me wants, so let’s do it.

But. He is gone from 8 am to 10pm or 12 or even sometimes 5 o o’clock on the morning. Because he works a lot, then he is also at night a basketball coach and then he likes to have beer with friends and colleagues.

I am already frustrated for the little time we spend together and how his mind is always very busy by himself, his work and everyone he is dealing with. So, I can’t imagine with kids how this frustration could be. I try to build a badass mentality but the work I am doing to change my thoughts around the time we spend together is exhausting and I begin to ask myself if I really want to be happy about it.

So, I love him, I just don’t love how to be in a relationship the same way that he is. And the time for me to be able to have a baby is passing. I get a bit stuck in this choice I have to make that I don’t want to make. Help would be appreciated.