My boyfriend feels that I did something to help myself and is super angry with me but in the act of what I did I 100% was only thinking of him. I was in contact with a client one morning and he had edited one of their photos for them and sent it to me that morning so I was like omg synchronicity and without thinking I just sent it to them saying oh hey! @mattmacphoto just edited your photo! Figured I would send it along. He spent like an hour the night before editing it and just sent it to me that morning and so yes, there were things I totally could have done differently like ask him if I should send it along. Or just not send it. Since I already had a relationship with the client I truly just thought I was helping at the moment. As I look back I see how I was in a mindset of go go go next thing next thing next thing so I should have slowed down and really thought about it but I was only trying to help and didn’t mean to hurt him in any way.
He got SUPER upset, and I’ve apologized, recognized that this type of thing doesn’t actually help him, and asked if there was anything I could do to help him but I’m lost on how I should do the model. Because my thought is “my boyfriend thinks I did something to help myself” and I don’t know if I can have that in my t line because I’m referencing what I think he’s thinking … lol if that makes sense. So here was my model. What could be improved? How do I make this better?
C: Sent an edited photo to a client of me that was created by my boyfriend
T: Boyfriend thinks I sent it to help myself
F: Sad
A: Try to explain that I was only trying to help him and I had no intention of hurting him, I already have a really good relationship with the client so I didn’t need it for myself
R: Arguing
C: Sent an edited photo to a client of me that was created by my boyfriend
T: I feel like I should put something like “I understand why my boyfriend might see the situation that way” but then I’m still “sad” like that thought makes me feel “sad” I want to feel love and compassion towards him so maybe a thought like “I understand why my boyfriend might see the situation like that but I know that I truly did this thinking I was helping him”?
F: Love and compassion
A: Let him be, standoff so that he can calm down but let him know that I love him and I’m here to talk if he wants
R: I’m not sure, I guess it would result in me sitting and waiting which feels not right … maybe it would result in space?