I have noticed a pattern in the mornings. I have a very consistent morning routine where I sit on the couch and go through my self coaching-type things – I list 3 new things I’m grateful for, 3 things I want that I already have, and then I write out my affirmations for entrepreneurship and weight loss. Then I do about 30 minutes of self coaching, thought downloads, or other thought work.
I do this routine ever single morning. I prefer that it’s silent, and it’s a peaceful time for me to get in the right headspace in order to start the day. However, my boyfriend will get up and do his thing for a bit and then he will come and sit by me. I notice I feel bothered, distracted, frustrated, and mad whenever he comes. He doesn’t even say anything, he just comes and sits. Usually it’s when I’m focusing on writing something in my journal.
Then I can’t focus because he’s sitting there. It’s like, if he’s sitting there, then I have to pay attention to him. I can’t just continue writing and ignoring him. I should want to want him to come sit so I can enjoy this time with him in the peaceful morning before we both go to work. But the truth is that I wish he would leave me alone so I could focus. But even on days when he doesn’t come and sit by me, I’m still feeling distracted by him being up and walking around, his phone will often ring in the morning and it’s all just very annoying.
I recognize I am attributing my feelings of annoyed, bothered, and distracted (among others) to the C’s of the noise of his phone ringing, him physically coming and sitting by me on the couch. I recognize that I COULD hypothetically ignore him and continue on with my journaling, because I’m an adult with free will. I recognize I am blaming him for “making” me feel these F’s.
I would like to drop the self-judgment I have about this and become more compassionate for myself so I can learn what’s really going on here.
If instead of my boyfriend doing these things in the morning, and hypothetically it were Brooke up making noise, her phone ringing, her coming and sitting by me in the morning, I would probably be excited she’s here, I’m probably not as bothered by her “interrupting” my thought work. I’m curious what the difference is between Brooke coming and sitting by me vs. my boyfriend.
Boyfriend: Ugh I wish he would go away and leave me alone, I’m trying to focus on this and I don’t like to be distracted. It was nice and peaceful before you came over and now I have to stop what I’m doing to pay attention to you.
Brooke: I just love her. I wonder when she’s going to wake up and get ready and come and sit by me. I would love some insight. Thanks coaches!