Boyfriend in social settings


Hello,

I’m struggling with new believable thoughts for my intentional model. I am very judgmental of my boyfriend when we are in social settings. He is very talkative, which I like, but he often brings the conversation back to himself which I perceive as boasting. Or when we are around his friends they all will talk about topics I’m not interested in or things I perceive as immature. I often find myself getting stuck on the thoughts like

– boasting isn’t a quality I’m attracted to in a person
– why isn’t he including me or others in the conversation
– I’m not a good conversationalist, I don’t know how to shift the conversation to include others and myself

I’d love more suggestions for alternative thoughts. I tried my model with the thought “he is enjoying time with his friends” and it didn’t help much. The below model seems to be the one that feels the most believable and also challenges an additional current belief that I am not a good conversationalist.

Unintentional model:
C – Spending time with boyfriend and his friends
T – He boasts about himself, this is a quality I do not find attractive in others
F – Embarrassed
A – Judgement/ I close off/ try to control him through criticism
R – I’m not engaged and not enjoying the conversation. It creates a rift/doubt in my relationship

Intentional model:
C – Spending time with boyfriend and his friends
T – I want to learn more about others
F – Capable, in control
A – I ask more questions and take more control of the conversation
R – I’m more engaged and enjoy the conversation more